{"id":15989,"date":"2023-02-17T13:00:49","date_gmt":"2023-02-17T08:30:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rukhshana.com\/?p=15989"},"modified":"2023-02-17T13:00:53","modified_gmt":"2023-02-17T08:30:53","slug":"they-killed-my-husband-and-stole-my-childrens-bread-one-womans-pain-at-the-hands-of-the-taliban","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rukhshana.com\/en\/they-killed-my-husband-and-stole-my-childrens-bread-one-womans-pain-at-the-hands-of-the-taliban\/","title":{"rendered":"They killed my husband and stole my children\u2019s bread: one woman\u2019s pain at the hands of the Taliban"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By: Sherin Yousfi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growing up in Afghanistan, Soraya, 37, lived far from the Taliban\u2019s influence. But their beliefs and practices still reached her – and upended her life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Soraya married, she settled with her husband, Ghulam*, in a remote district of northern Balkh province. Soon, their family grew – they had a baby girl, and then another. It was a simple, traditional life. Soraya cared for their two girls while Ghulam earned an income as a coal miner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But when Soraya was pregnant with their son, her husband was shot dead by Taliban fighters while on his way home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere is nothing more painful than your child being born without a father. He will miss his father’s kiss and smile for the rest of his life,\u201d Soraya says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That fateful day was three years ago. As Covid-19 gripped the world and Soraya five months pregnant, Ghulam, 42, went to work in a coal mine in Samangan Province. He was so excited about the arrival of their third child. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOne day he called me to say he was leaving work to come home,\u201d Soraya says. He wanted to be present for the baby\u2019s arrival and have a big celebration for the birth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe next day, my daughters and I were so looking forward to seeing him again,\u201d she says. \u201cI had prepared food for the evening and dressed my daughters in beautiful clothes, but my heart was restless. I was waiting for the phone to ring any moment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As the sun was setting, Soraya\u2019s anxiety grew. Her many calls to Ghulam went unanswered, until finally, at 10.00pm, her husband\u2019s cell phone stopped ringing. The battery was either flat or it had been switched off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was worried and my daughters were more worried,\u201d she says. \u201cI called all my friends and acquaintances, but there was no news. That night, I did not sleep even for a moment.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Early the next morning, as the mullah began the call to prayer, Soraya heard a knock at her gate. She ran to answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI went and I saw four people standing behind the gate with a coffin,\u201d she says. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They told Soraya that the Taliban had killed her husband at the checkpoint on the Dara Suf-Balkh road.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI thought they had made a mistake. But when I removed the handkerchief from the corpse\u2026 it was him. He was wearing the same clothes I\u2019d ironed for him. But they were torn and bloody – there were two bullet holes in his chest,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cEverything spun. I didn\u2019t know if I was on earth or in the sky. I fainted,\u201d she adds. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ghulam\u2019s taxi driver told Soraya that two others in the car – university students travelling to Balkh – were also killed in the shooting. He believed Ghulam might have survived if they had been able to reach the hospital, but they were held up by the Taliban for three hours and he lost too much blood. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Taliban made my life black from that day,\u201d she says. \u201cI am alive and breathing only because of my children. I will never forget that day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Twenty-four days later, Soraya gave birth to their son. She struggled to convince her daughters that their father was not coming back. \u201cA mountain of sadness and responsibility fell on my shoulders.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Soraya, her husband\u2019s family was not able to help her, and she had to take on the task of breadwinner for her family. It was difficult for a widow with three young children to find work, and there were some in her conservative community who felt women should not work \u2013 even in her difficult position.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She used to cook bolani at home and go to sell it in the market, but the harassment and disapproval from some of her neighbours made her stop. Instead she started doing laundry for others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen I was selling bolani on the street, people would say right in front of me things like, \u2018She is a widow and looking for a husband in the streets,\u201d Soraya says. \u201cI lived through really difficult times.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With a breaking voice, Soraya says that since Ghulam\u2019s death, she hasn\u2019t bought her children anything new, though she tries to provide the best she can for them. She always dresses them in clothes people no longer want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things were hard before the Taliban arrived, but then it got much worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Afghanistan fell to the Taliban, Soraya was working as a cleaner in a private school in Balkh. But with the ban on girls schools and then various orders restricting women in public life and some types of jobs, Soraya became unemployed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe night, when the school principal called to tell me that I could no longer come to work, my whole life went dark,\u201d she says. \u201cI was wondering how to find the rent money. Where would I find money for flour and oil? My income had been low, but at least we could live with that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She rejects the idea that the Taliban orders are made out of respect for the dignity and chastity of women. For Soraya, it\u2019s been the most difficult period of her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This winter has been particularly bitter. Afghanistan is experiencing one of its coldest winters in a generation. According to official statistics, more than 150 people have already died due to the cold. Soraya has no means or income to heat her home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe Taliban killed my husband and now they have taken away our bread as well,\u201d she says. \u201cThis year, I could not even buy seven kilos of coal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Also weighing on her mind is her daughters\u2019 education. \u201cMy eldest daughter is in third grade. I am worried that the Taliban will not allow her to go to school after a few years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With the Taliban regaining power in Afghanistan, women’s lives have taken significant hits. Extensive restrictions against women have been the hallmark of the Taliban\u2019s first 1.5 years in power. The decree banning women’s work and education is one of the biggest challenges to women, and for women without male income earners like Soraya, the pain is particularly acute.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo one can feel and understand this pain except an Afghan woman whose life has been ruined by the Taliban,\u201d Soraya says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Ghulam is a pseudonym at Soraya\u2019s request<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Growing up in Afghanistan, Soraya, 37, lived far from the Taliban\u2019s influence. 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