By Ziba Balkhi
“Hi, is this your profile picture? You are beautiful and attractive. Let’s get to know each other better. You seem like a successful girl; I will support you.” Diba, 23* received this message late one evening via Facebook Messenger eight months ago.
Diba promptly replied to the stranger to never message her again.
His response stunned her.
“You whore, you flirted,’ he wrote, before deleting all the messages.
Such interactions are not uncommon experiences among Diba and her friends. Its so widespread that she said she believes very few girls in Afghanistan wouldn’t have experienced some form of sexual harassment via social media.
Of the 12 women from varied provinces who Rukhshana Media interviewed, all had encountered harassment from strangers through the messaging functions on social media apps.
Some experts say a new form of violence and sexual harassment against women and girls has emerged through the internet, especially in countries like Afghanistan where there’s little opportunity for women to pursue justice.
Asila*, 26, has been active on Facebook for four years. But she has taken extended breaks from it at times when the violence of the unsolicited messages and sexual harassment overwhelmed her.
Before the Taliban takeover of the country in 2021, Asila was a journalist at a local media outlet in Jawzjan province. Now she’s unemployed.
In a post to Facebook last year, she shared some of her feelings around the challenges of not being able to work and struggling with despondency. A stranger messaged her privately, promising well-paid work.
“He wrote that he had work for me, and if I wanted, I would earn 5,000 afghanis (US$72) for the night. I asked what kind of work it was. He said that guests would come, and I would have to be with them from evening until morning,” she said.
His reply hit her like a hammer. She immediately blocked the sender, and she didn’t return to Facebook for a long time.
Friendship requests, the use of sexual language, insults, and even inappropriate images are some of the constant challenges female users constantly navigate on social media.
Sohaila, 24, fell victim to a more extreme form of harassment akin to sextortion.
She had clicked on an advertisement for a job when she received a message from a number on WhatsApp.
“It said I needed to send some details along with a selfie without a headscarf, for scanning and registration,” Sohaila said.
“I thought It must be a foreign office – their process is probably more complicated.”
Wanting to have a chance at the job, she took a picture without her hijab and sent the photo. Soon she was embroiled in extortion to pay money or be “exposed as a “whore”.
“He [the scammer] told me to send him a 5,000 afghanis ($72) by 10am the next day, otherwise he would post my photo on Facebook.
The 5000 afs was to be paid in the form of a phone credit code for a Roshan sim card.
“He said once he received the card, he’d delete my photo. He warned me that if I didn’t send it, he would think I had deceived or blocked him, and he would publish my photos to thousands of Facebook pages.”
Terrified of the threat and scared to tell anyone of her situation for fear they would only condemn her, Sohaila went at 9am the next morning, bought the 5,000 Roshan credit, and sent him the code.
She still doesn’t know if he ever deleted her photo.
Breaking the silence
Prominent Afghan jouranlist Farahnaz Forotan, who currently lives in the United States, recently named and shamed someone she said has been harassing her for years.
“I blocked Jawed Naeemi, a Radio Azadi journalist. For years now, he has been harassing me late at night. I have never met this gentleman even once, and I cannot understand the reason for his unwarranted familiarity,” she posted publicly on Facebook.
“To respectable men of this kind,” she continued, “just because a woman like me is independent, confident, and single, does not mean you can do whatever you want. You have no right to call a woman late at night or send inappropriate messages.”
Jawed Naeemi replied to Ms Forotan’s Facebook post: “I wanted to make a documentary with Farahnaz Forotan, but I received a very rude and superficial response.”
In an interview with Rukhshana Media, Ms Forotan said that her motivation for exposing harassment in the online space and document these types of situations is to expose the misogynistic and Taliban-like mindsets they stem from.
She wants the silence and complacency that accompany the messages to end.
“After more than a decade of working in Afghanistan, even in environments that were supposedly improved, I experienced sexual harassment time and time again,” she said.
“In many cases, I refrained from speaking out and tried to resolve these issues through management or other means, but the outcome was always to my detriment.
“In Afghanistan, it’s enough for a woman to be smiling, independent, and free-spirited for her to be easily victimized by lies and fabricated stories.”
She said exposing those who harass is one of the most radical and effective actions possible.
“For years, we have listened to conciliatory recommendations: remain silent, forgive, block. But what has been the result? Nothing has changed, except that these men, even those with names and reputations, continue to allow themselves to harass women,” she said.
“They believe they can alter narratives to their advantage with accusations and patriarchal stories.”
She urged other Afghan women to break the silence through exposure, documentation, and discussion of their experiences with online sexual harassment.
“Do not remain silent. You are not alone. Raise your voice; even if you do not wish to speak directly yourself, many women are standing alongside you who will carry your message to others,” she said.
“Do not allow a man who is nourished by misogynistic thoughts to destroy your peace and self-confidence. Be resolute and strong. We stand together, and together we can break this cycle of harassment.”
Bahar Sohaili, an activist and feminist, along with journalist Sahar Samet, have welcomed and supported Ms Forotan by also sharing messages they’d received from Jawed Naeemi.
Soon, a wave of reaction to the exposure of sexual harassment began to follow.
Parwana Ibrahim Khail, a women’s rights advocate, expressed her support for Ms Forotan on X, wrote: “You have broken the silence that has oppressed women for years.”
Other users turned the exposure back on Ms Forotan, attempting to shame her using mockery and criticism.
Afghan psychologist Madina Qate Musadiq said that sexual harassment online is no less serious than in real life. She said it can also lead to depression, isolation, and even suicide among women.
“Online harassment can be even more dangerous than in the real world. The spread of issues in the virtual space can quickly reach the entire world. For example, if a photo or message of a girl is shared online, she no longer has psychological peace; she can’t walk the streets or markets because everyone recognizes her,” she said.
“In our real world, we can assess the truthfulness of an issue; however, in the virtual world, even if something lacks truth, the level of understanding in Afghan society is low, and people believe it very quickly. This can even lead to a woman or girl’s suicide.”
Significant efforts have been made since the emergence of the internet to support women in breaking their silence about the harassment they have experienced. One major movement was the global #MeToo campaign, which turned the discussion of sexual harassment into a key public issue in many countries.
In predominantly Western countries, legal institutions have strict mechanisms in place to address such harassment, but in countries like Afghanistan, such measures are nonexistent.
Note*: Some names are changed due to security reasons.
