Nosha Asiyan
Warning: This article discusses suicide. If this story raises any concerns for you, please reach out to a local mental health provider or online to mental health support service https://ipso-care.com/ which also offers services in Pashto and Farsi.
When Mahrukh* was brought unconscious and close to death to Faizabad Hospital in Badakhshan, none of the staff believed that the 13-year-old had tried to end her life. Even when poison was found in her system, they thought maybe it had been ingested by mistake.
But for the petite Mahrukh, who looks younger than her age, she had been attempting to escape a forced marriage.
As doctors worked to save Mahrukh’s life, I noticed her distressed mother wailing in the hospital corridor. As a volunteer health worker, it’s not unusual for me to reach out to people.
“Auntie, don’t worry,” I said as I approached her. “The doctors are pumping her stomach, and she’ll be fine. Everything will be okay.”
What Amina* said to me in response shook me to my core.
“If they save her this time, who will save her next?” Amina cried.
“She will try again. She won’t stop until she ends her life. Her father, may God not curse him, has made her get engaged to an older man.”
Amina said her husband arranged the engagement eight months earlier with a 41-year-old man, against the wishes of both herself and her daughter – and that Mahrukh is determined not to be at the wedding.
“They are coming to get married, and the girl is also dying of hunger, saying that she will kill herself,” Amina said.
“Her father is even more stubborn than that. He tells her, ‘If you die, your dead body will belong to that man’.”
The price of no autonomy
Nine days after doctors saved Mahrukh’s life, I visited her at home.
Her eyes were ringed by dark circles and deep hollows, with visible thin lines on her bony face. Amina’s condition did not appear to be much better than her daughter’s.
“Since the day we brought Mahrukh back from the hospital, I haven’t felt well. My head hurts so much that I think it might explode,” Amina said.
“At every moment, my blood pressure drops, and I feel weak. My daughter is burning in agony, and there’s nothing I can do to help her.”
She said all efforts to dissuade her husband Raziq* from going through with the marriage had proved fruitless.
Raziq*, 55, is father to five daughters with Mahrukh being the youngest. Originally from the Ragh district of Badakhshan province, he brought his family to Faizabad three years ago.
Amina said he’s an extremely conservative, religious man who is a devoted Talib, “praying for the stability of the Islamic Emirate, day and night.”
Any discussion of Mahrukh or their daughters going to school, Amina said Raziq would always dismiss it saying their place is at home to obey their husband.
It was on June 7 last year when Raziq revealed Mahrukh would be married.
“Raziq suddenly announced at the dinner table, ‘I’ve given Mahrukh to Qader*. May God bless her marriage.’ I was stunned. I said, ‘This is impossible. She’s still a child,” Amina said.
Raziq responded with anger.
“He told me, ‘Don’t speak, you foolish woman. She’s grown up, let her go to her fate. It’s better for her to marry sooner rather than later. She’ll be a wife and belong to a man. The sooner, the better, and with more dignity.’”
He’d already had their four other daughters married off at a young age as well.
Forced marriage linked to education ban
Afghanistan’s record on forced and child marriages was already grim before the Taliban took power in 2021. Since then, official reports from monitoring organizations including the United Nations show the rate has increased by 35%.
The Afghanistan Human Rights Center said this month that part of the increase is likely driven by the ban on girls going to school after grade 6. In a report published on February 8, it stated a “worryingly high percentage” of schoolgirls and university students are forced into marriage after being deprived of education.
It found that of 15 girls interviewed, 14 of them said that they were married without their consent.
Some women’s rights groups believe the number of forced and child marriages in Afghanistan is even higher than is officially reported.
The Afghanistan Human Rights Center has cited a belief that more girls are being forced to marry Taliban members with the group exploiting the current situation in Afghanistan and lack of protection for women and girls to enforce these relationships.
A girl with a simple wish
Amina said she is not sure whether the man Mahrukh is to marry is a member of the Taliban. She only knows he is a friend of her husband who is involved in the gold mining business.
“He is a wealthy man and has promised to pay whatever dowry [my husband] wants in exchange for Mahrukh,” she said.
While I talked to Amina, Mahrukh remained still and staring, showing no reaction whatsoever as her eyes fixed on a single point in the room. Her lips were cracked, and her slender hands were as pale as her face.
Amina said this recent incident was the third time that Mahrukh had attempted to take her own life, each time with a different method.
I asked Mahrukh what’s her dream for her life.
In a thin and completely childlike voice, she said that her dream had been to become a judge, to establish justice. But that now, she no longer thinks of such things.
“My only wish now is that I don’t have to marry and that I can go to school,” she said.
Note*: Names are changed due to security reasons.
