By Ziba Balkhi
Hasina was so brutally bashed by her husband that she had a miscarriage when she was six months pregnant. But he has threatened to accuse her of infidelity before the Taliban if she pursues her divorce and the mehrieh she is owed.
In Islam, the Mehriah is a sort of payment in the form of money or goods that is promised by the groom to the bride, something that she’ll legally own. The requirement for it in a marriage is mentioned several times in the Quran and hadith.
Hasina’s Mehriah was set at one million afghanis (US$14,000). However, her husband, who has thrown her out of their home, has said he will hand her over to the Taliban to be stoned as a sinful woman if she demands the payment.
She is not confident of justice if she goes to the Taliban herself, even with the physical evidence of her beatings.
Before the Taliban’s takeover of Afghanistan in 2021, Afghanistan was already one of the worst countries for justice for women. But since the Taliban’s return and men’s ‘ownership’ of women under Taliban law, it has become almost impossible for women to achieve true justice, especially without a man speaking for them.
One of the Taliban’s first moves in 2021 was to dismantle the systems that had supported women facing domestic violence, including the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, safe houses, and human rights organizations that worked to eliminate violence against women.
A United Nations report said last year that the Taliban had sent some women to prison after accusing their families or spouses of violence – a claim the group denies.
Forced to marry into extreme violence
“My husband has decided to divorce me, but is waiting for the bruises from beatings to disappear so that he won’t face any blame,” Hasina said.
“I’m left with two options: either divorce him without the Mehriah or, as he threatens, be accused of having relations with other men and let them stone me to death. I’m torn about what to do. If I don’t take mehriah, what will my future hold?”
The 36-year-old ran her hand over her belly every few minutes while answering questions.
Hasina said she lost her baby at six months pregnancy after one of her husband’s beatings.
She wept uncontrollably as she recounted her memory of what happened.
“He beat me severely, sometimes hitting my face, other times kicking my back and stomach,” she said.
“I begged him not to hit me so that nothing would happen to my baby, but he didn’t care. After a lot of beatings, he violently pushed me, and I fell to the ground on my stomach.
“The pain was so intense that everything went dark before my eyes, and I was screaming and crying, but my husband did not soften. He kicked my shoulders and stomach, telling me to get up, until eventually, I lost consciousness and was covered in blood.”
She said she was taken unconscious to a hospital in Mazar-i-Sharif, which she does not want to name due to security reasons that might identify her.
Hasina said an examination revealed that the baby had died, so she underwent surgery to remove the baby. It was a girl.
“I endured six months of pain and pregnancy difficulties, but in the end, I lost my baby because of my cruel husband,” she said.
“He is the murderer of my only daughter.”
After she returned home, she would suffer still another beating before her wounds from the surgery had even healed, she said.
She revealed the extensive injuries on body. Layers of marks and bruises akin to beatings were visible across her hands, legs, and parts of her body. Burn marks allegedly from heated wood were also visible. Some of the wounds had bled and turned into deep, swollen injuries.
Deep, dark wrinkles rimmed Hasina’s tired eyes. It had only been 20 days after the operation to remove her dead baby when Hasina’s husband allegedly beat her almost to the brink of death.
“I don’t know the reason why he does this and what my sin is. Just because I used to work outside the home doesn’t justify him treating me like this, or that my brother took his money and spent it on himself,” she said.
No respect and no protection
Hasina was 17 years old when her father died, effectively leaving her brother to become her guardian. She was living with her him and his wife until last year, when a man, almost 20 years older than Hasina whom she’d never met, apparently asked Hasina’s brother for her hand in marriage.
“My brother took 200,000 afghanis (around US$2900) as a bride price, but he didn’t spend a single penny on me. He didn’t even buy me a single piece of clothing for my dowry,” Hasina said.
“He sent me to my husband’s house empty-handed.”
Hasina’s wedding to the 52-year-old man, who had divorced his previous wife and had three children already, took place without any ceremony or fanfare.
Only one month passed from the time he proposed to the day Hasina moved into his house. And since then, she said she hasn’t had a day of peace.
“He beats me for every little thing, whether right or wrong. If he gets into a fight with someone outside, he displaces his anger and beats me instead with whatever he can find,” she said.
“I am very tired of this life. When I was at my brother’s house, I endured the taunts of his wife, who would always ask how long I would be staying with them. But after getting married, my life went from bad to worse.”
Hasina had earned an income working in a government office in Mazar-i-Sharif (which she prefers not to name) before the Taliban took power and banned women from working for many government offices.
Statistics from the previous Afghan government show that for 2020-2021, women made up about 106,000 employees or 26 percent of the total 414,000 civil service employees in the country.
Hasina’s husband used her previous job in a government office as a reason for his brutality.
“He would accuse me every time, saying, ‘You were working in an office, God knows what you were up to. If you were a good girl, you wouldn’t have stayed unmarried until this age, and your brother wouldn’t have agreed to marry you off,” Hasina said.
“He repeats these accusations every day and then starts beating me.”
She said that on occasions when she’d respond or defend herself, her husband would become even more cruel.
“He would start nagging about trivial matters, like why I hadn’t made tea. If I said I was tired or trying to rest at home, he would keep insulting and cursing at me,” she said.
“If I spoke up a little, he’d drag me to the basement and tie me to a pillar there, then beat me with a stick on my legs, arms, and all over my body.
“I had the pain from the surgery on one side and the beating on the other side; no matter how much I cried and screamed, he didn’t stop.”
She asked her brother for protection, but he has refused to help, warning her she will only leave her husband’s house once she is wrapped for burial.
“When I told my brother, he replied, ‘He’s your husband, endure it. You went to his house in white clothes, you’ll leave in a shroud. Don’t think of leaving your husband’s house, as I won’t look at you again.’”
Even now that her husband has demanded a divorce and thrown her out of their home, she said her brother has refused to allow her to live with him. So she desperately needs the required mehrieh to survive.
“My brother won’t take me back home. But if I do take [the Mehriah], my husband will accuse me of things. So, I either become imprisoned or stoned to death,” she said.
Hasina said she hopes no one ever experiences her situation.
“May God not create anyone else’s life like mine. Sometimes I feel like ending my life, but I fear the sin of doing so.”
