By Gulali (pseudonym) – a female journalist from Jawzjan province
Working as a journalist, I have come to rely a great deal on social media and the connections it opens up. But with seemingly innocent promises of friendship, men still harass and abuse women.
It has changed the way I work.
The virtual world can be as dangerous as place for women as the real world. A lack of proper awareness and understanding of internet use as well as the hidden nature of it means people can more easily harass through social media in ways they might otherwise do.
No woman or girl is free from unwelcome, inappropriate sexual messages on Messenger, WhatsApp, or Telegram. I have been subjected to such messages countless times.
As a journalist, I need sources. For me, social media is one of the primary tools for making those connections, gathering more information, and expanding the network to access essential details.
But my presence on the platforms and open engagement has meant receiving inappropriate sexual messages and images several times. It has often left me in a profoundly negative and damaging mental and emotional space.
While those who send such messages see it as “just” a text or an image, for the recipient, it can be so disturbing to her psyche that it’s disturbing impact can be felt for days, even months.
In my experience, many of these harassers are from society’s educated and literate classes.
When I was working as a journalist at a local media outlet, I had only been there a month when the director of publications sent me a friend request on Facebook. I accepted it and immediately received a private message from him via Messenger.
At first, he kept it to casual greetings. But soon his questions became more personal. Eventually, he suggested he could help me if I were his “friend”.
When I told him that I came to the media for work, not to make friends, he replied, “If you accept my friendship, even though you’re just an ordinary employee now, I can help you reach higher positions in the media.”
The insidious meaning beneath his message and what he truly thought of me was clear. I blocked him on Facebook and resigned from the job.
Messages like “Hi, how are you? Can we be friends?” seem harmless at face value. But they leave an unsettling feeling in many cases. And every girl has likely received more than one from strangers. I have received these countless times. I have also received video calls from accounts I didn’t recognize. When I don’t answer, they leave follow-up messages insisting, “Why aren’t you answering, pretty girl?”
After several instances of harassment, I have now changed my policy on social media. I have locked the message section on Messenger, and if I receive messages from unknown individuals, I block them immediately.
But how long should we continue to deal with this? Screening, blocking, taking the blame?
People, especially men, need to step up and understand the proper way to use social media. They need to realize that men should not send even implicitly sexual or pestering messages to girls. Nor should they message or call someone they don’t know.
To help reduce these online perpetrators, those who have been harassed should be encouraged to share their experiences. The less that is said, the more that online harassment will continue to rise.
I have decided to speak about my own experiences, and I urge other women to share theirs as well. By speaking out, we can help prevent sexual harassment and online violence that women are facing.
