By Raha Azad
When Kamela applied to divorce her violent husband following 13 years of abuse, she hoped the court in northern Afghanistan would bring a swift end to her toxic marriage.
Instead, she says one judge pestered her for sex while another told her that a man was entitled to hit his wife.
Although the court eventually granted her a divorce, it came at a very high cost – the judge whose advances she had spurned handed custody of her four children to her ex.
Kamela’s story illustrates how difficult it is for a woman to seek divorce in Taliban-ruled Afghanistan.
When the 31-year-old filed for divorce earlier this year, she cited her husband’s drug addiction and violence as grounds for separation. In one attack, she says he broke her arm. Other injuries sustained during beatings included a leg fracture and a dislocated wrist.
But Kamela said the judges and court officials repeatedly told her to live with the violence and asked her why she wanted to “ruin” her life by leaving her marriage.
“They told me to put up with it, but this man, who was addicted to drugs, punched and kicked me every day,” Kamela told Rukhshana Media.
She said one judge even told her: “There is nothing wrong with a husband beating his wife. Islam allows it.”
Divorce has always been stigmatised in Afghanistan, but the previous Afghan government had sought to help women escape violent marriages by setting up specialist courts to deal with family matters and domestic abuse.
After seizing power in 2021, the Taliban dismantled the courts and shut shelters for domestic abuse victims.
U.N. rights experts say a new Taliban decree on the “separation of spouses” published in May will make it even harder for women to seek divorce.
Rukhshana Media has previously reported on cases where Taliban courts have told women trying to leave a violent marriage to stay with their husband or go to prison.
‘JUDGE ASKED FOR SEX’
Kamela, who was 17 when her parents arranged her marriage, said her father had supported her decision to seek a divorce and had accompanied her on her trips to court.
After the divorce she moved back to live with her parents, but the court ordered that her two girls and two boys, aged six, eight, 11 and 12, should live with their father who has blocked contact.
Kamela is heartbroken. She sometimes speaks to her children by phone with the help of a neighbour, but has not seen them for months.
“It’s so difficult to be a woman in this country and want a divorce,” she said.
As the court considered her case, Kamela said she was shocked to receive a phone call from one of the judges suggesting he could help her win custody if she slept with him.
“He said, ‘If you become friends and intimate with me, we will find a way for you to get your children, or at least your daughters.’.”
The call left her very distressed. “I couldn’t sleep all night. I cried and asked God for help,” she said.
Kamela, who did not identify the judge due to safety concerns, said he called her six times, asking her to come to court alone.
She tried to avoid antagonising him for fear he might block her divorce, but she never agreed to his demands and changed her phone number after her divorce was granted.
Rukhshana Media was unable to contact local Taliban court officials for comment due to restrictions on the media.
Note: The interviewee’s name has been changed and certain details withheld to protect her identity
