By Zuhal Azad
Former Afghan policewoman Saadat* has spent five years in hiding since the Taliban seized power, living in constant fear that she could be killed if discovered.
Saadat joined the police force a decade ago to defend women’s rights. But jobless and in debt, she now lives trapped in a hell of domestic violence which has driven her to the verge of suicide.
“For five years, I’ve lived like a refugee. My whole life has become running from one province to another,” she told Rukhshana Media.
Saadat, 40, served with the police in one of Afghanistan’s northern provinces from 2015 until the Taliban took over on August 15, 2021. She was proud of her job as a sergeant and widely respected by the community.
After the fall of Kabul, she started receiving repeated phone calls from Taliban members demanding she surrender.
“They called from the district police headquarters and provincial police command, telling me to come and hand over any weapons I had,” Saadat said.
“But I knew that if I went, I’d never come back alive.”
She and her husband switched off their phones and went into hiding. Even close family did not know her whereabouts.
Saadat’s two brothers, who had served in the former Afghan National Army, also fled and now live abroad.
Although the Taliban announced a general amnesty after taking power, hundreds of former government employees and security personnel faced swift retribution.
One former servicewoman told Rukhshana Media how Taliban members had locked her in a shipping container and gang-raped her after armed men abducted her from her home.
A U.N. report this year said members of the former security services continue to face arbitrary detention, torture and extrajudicial killings.
House fire
Before going into hiding, Sadaat said she rented out her home to a neighbour, leaving her belongings in the basement.
But six months later, she learnt there had been a serious fire.
Despite being terrified of blowing her cover, she returned to inspect the damage. Saadat said everything inside the house had been destroyed – her identity papers, her brothers’ documents, the deeds to their ancestral land and belongings worth about 100,000 Afghanis ($1,500).
She said the tenant told her he had burnt the documents, fearing they would land him in trouble if the Taliban discovered them. But when she remonstrated, he threatened to report her.
In desperation, Saadat asked a local community leader to help her secure compensation, but he sided with the tenant.
She eventually sold the house to cover her rent and bills. But the money quickly ran out.
“There were days when I ate only one meal so I wouldn’t have to borrow more money,” she said, adding she now owes the local grocery store 80,000 Afghanis.
Domestic violence
Under the former US-backed government there was a big push to increase the number of female police officers. Some joined units specifically set up to deal with issues like domestic violence, but these were immediately disbanded under the Taliban.
Saadat was among about 3,600 policewomen in the country, but many like her are now in hiding.
In the last five years, she and her husband have relocated more than 10 times across different provinces.
The couple, who do not have children, now live with his family in an old mud house, where she spends her days cooking and cleaning for nine people.
“My mother-in-law beats me and calls me barren,” Saadat said, breaking down in tears.
“My father-in-law says, ‘If you can’t have children, at least serve us properly’. My sisters-in-law wake me up by kicking me.”
But fear of the Taliban – and mounting debt – mean she is powerless to escape.
Saadat is not alone. Many former policewomen have faced domestic violence since losing their jobs and are struggling with serious mental health issues, according to human rights groups.
“I even thought about killing myself,” Saadat said. “Twice, I went to the edge of the well in our courtyard, intending to throw myself in. I swear, in these five years I’ve suffered more than I did in my entire life before.”
Although Saadat loved her police work, her ambition was to enter politics. Under the previous government, she had run for a seat on the provincial council. She was unsuccessful, but had planned to try again.
“I had so many dreams,” Saadat said. “But today, all I want is an ordinary life without fear.”
Editor’s note: “Saadat” is a pseudonym used to protect the survivor’s identity.
